This is not a sob story. I’m not asking for sympathy, so don’t bother getting the violins out. I’m sat here at 3.14am, sleep deprived and nursing a very swollen and very, VERY sore ankle.

Just before the swelling really got underway
I sparred a little MMA earlier tonight, nothing major. Relatively light contact, lots of movement, that kind of thing. My opponent went for an outside trip takedown and some part of his foot or leg clashed with my ankle. It hurt a little but I carried on just fine. I noticed a little bruise right on the ball of the ankle, so put some ice on it while I watched an awesome wrestling class (suplexes, love ‘em). Later during dinner I mentioned my ankle was a little sore (little being the operative word here, little). He said he felt the clash, but didn’t know what it was. Fine I told him, it was fine.
I got home tonight and got down to some work (had to call America, the time difference is always a bitch). I’m sat at my desk, rubbing cooling gel on my foot while keeping it elevated. This last hour or two, it has gotten very sore. Sore to the point where I’m actually moaning out loud with pain (well, swearing actually. I’m not quite combination swearing just yet, if that comes later you’ll know it’s bad).

No, my feet are NOT supposed to be different colours. That’s no trick of the light either
So I’m sat here with a bag of frozen vegetables on my foot, cursing the day I ever took up MMA. You see, I’ve lost count of the number of injuries I’ve sustained, from the niggly to the crippling, the annoying to the potentially long-term.
Let’s see, shall we?
- Broken and dislocated toes on both feet
- Torn ankle ligaments
- Non-specific achilles tendon injury
- Numerous eggs and lumps on shins
- Popped meniscus
- Housemaid’s knee
- Bursar sac inflammation at back of the knee
- Dead legs
- Pulled groin muscle
- Kneed in the nuts
- Sciatica
- Lower back pain
- Mid back pain
- Upper back pain
- Constant knot in traps
- Ongoing neck issues (probably chronic now)
- Rotator cuff issues
- Dislocated both elbows
- Tennis elbow
- Sprained wrists
- Numbness and tingling in my fingers
- Hyper extended fingers
- Fucked up thumbs
- Lacerated eyeball
So, not a bad haul for six or seven years (or more) on the mat. Nothing too serious I suppose (apart from one or two that require constant management). I’ve bypassed the annoying ones like cauliflower ears, broken noses and missing teeth (phew).
I do wonder what toll I’m taking on my body by engaging in an activity where utter destruction of your opponent’s own body is not just encouraged, but expected.
Maybe I should move away from physical pursuits and treat my body as nothing more than a vehicle for my brain. It can take me here, there and everywhere, but why should I bump it off every other vehicle on the road of life?
Because I’d go mental if I didn’t, that’s why. So, as ever, I’ll have a little moan, suck it up and move the fuck on.
Namasté, bitches.